Personal Story: About Saying NO.

I was almost robbed last night which triggered my post trauma from a sexual harassment 5 years ago… perhaps a good story to share with your daughters. ♥️

I spent my afternoon on the beach in Tel Aviv today. While I’m packing my stuff to leave, I see a suspicious movement behind the tree I was sitting next to.

I peek, and realise a guy is sitting there with my phone in his hand, trying to steal it.

I reach out and grab it and he says: “yours?” - I guess he was shocked to see how quickly & firmly I reacted.

I answer “yes, mine”, fire in my eyes.
He gets up, and runs off. I’m standing there, angry and shocked. I feel the post-traumatic trigger rising in me.
His “yours?” question feels exactly like the question a 50+ year old man threw at me when I pushed him off of me, 5 years ago.

This man was a familiar character in the Israeli Venture Capital scene; a senior investor, who had startup founders and executives lining up to ask for funding. I met him for a business meeting, to check if he had decided to invest (or not) in the startup I had worked for at the time.
At the parking lot, after a short meeting which I ended quickly because he was behaving inappropriately, he tried to force himself on me. I pushed him back, with a lot of force, and said a firm “NO”.
He then asked “why? What do you care?”, pretending to have an innocent look on his face. I gave him the same look I gave the thief now, fire in my eyes, and disappeared into my car and out of there.

I later discovered that this man sexually assaulted and harassed many women. Some entrepreneurs, some senior tech execs like me, and more. He operated in the same manner with all these women, normally even doing it in the same location, same restaurant in the center of Israel, taking advantage of his powerful position.

Newspaper articles and an investigative TV show (alike ‘60 minutes’) exposed him and his acts shortly after this incident, thanks to the fact that he had hired a private investigation firm to surveil and follow the women he harassed - and the list of women leaked by the firm to the journalists. I participated in this TV show anonymously, at the time too scared of the repercussions of exposing myself, and what it would do to my career.

Maybe it’s time to break my silence. I’m not afraid anymore.

People who are predators, who feed off the energies and livelihood of others, while forcing themselves onto others, let alone hurting another, represent the dark side of humanity. In all walks of life. Whether they’d be thieves, rapists, molesters, or ANY person who violates one’s free will, breaks boundaries and abolishes free choice. Including any figure of “authority” that thinks or believes they are worth more than another human, and are allowed to coerce or force someone into something. These people should be stopped and handled.

We all need to practice saying “NO” more often; NO to anyone who tries to hurt us or hurt others. It is not acceptable.
I know it’s not easy, but it’s a step towards healing.

Thanks for reading my words and helping me get this out of my system.

Efrat

Here’s my tweet with this story, feel free to share.

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